Decompress

The past week + has been a whirlwind for me. I can't even tell you what today is and what I'm suppose to be doing. On Thanksgiving day, as you can read below, we went to visit Pop and Elva for a little while (I now wish it would have been longer). The next day, was Friday, I slept in and we had a nice morning. We got dressed and ready to start our day around 2pm. We started out to Uncle Julio's to eat a late lunch and my cell phone rang, it was Michelle, she wanted to talk to Brian. I knew something was wrong, by her tone. Brian's reaction was exactly what I expected and I just wanted him to hurry and give the phone back. Michelle told us that Pop had just died. He was with Elva and they were eating fruit together. He went peacefully.

Brian and I continued on our day, we went to eat lunch, then off to the Gaylord Texan Hotel to see the ICE! exhibit. Brian and Isabella when through the ICE! thing and Cooper and I just hung out waiting for them. I just wanted to sit and think. I am so very, very grateful we went to see Pop the day before. No one could ever that those memories from me. I had just seen my Granny a day or so before she passed away. So that too was precious to me.

Saturday, I packed the car TIGHT for a long visit to the farm. We arrived as fast as we could and I started to clean. I guess that is what I do when I need to think and let some stress out, you'd think my house was spotless. I was happy to be 'home'. Michelle and I find the farm as a safe place, comfort food (like cornbread and beans, or Granny's chicken fried chicken and mashed potatoes). I love the farm, the dirt, the smells, the animals, the trees, the friendly-ness of old town folks, the old furniture, the old linens, the old truck. Everything about the farm is freeing, its innocent, its fresh, its warm, its relaxing, its walking around the house with no make-up on and no bra in your favorite old t-shirt and sweats. Do you get the picture?

Sunday was more of finding my roots, exploring, spending quality time with my children and nephews and my cousins daughter. Making memories that no one can ever erase. The kids and I went to one of my aunts/uncles house across the road to visit the horses and dogs. They have 37 horses and 8 dogs. Isabella was so at home, she loved the horses and dogs. She reminds me so much of myself. Fearless, out to conquer the world. She wasn't afraid of anything, she'd trip, fall and get right up and dust her legs off and keep going. She had to keep up with the boys. I took the kids to see the horses a few times that day, then we went to the viewing for a few hours. I left my kids at the farm with my cousin Ashley, her husband was the amazing pastor that did Pop's funeral. I am grateful for Ashley and her willingness to help me. Isabella can't sit still for 1 minute, much less 2 hours.

Monday morning we went to the funeral. The service was great, two of Pop's nephews did the service. It's nice to have an actual family member do Pops service, it felt more personable. Gary Don and Dan did a great job. We went to the graveside service and the wind was really high and it was really cold. It was beautiful, Pop planned a lot of it before he passed away, he did a great job! After the service, everyone went to the farm for lunch. Many family members came and it was nice to celebrate Pop's life with the ones he loved so much. Michelle and I didn't want to leave. So we stayed another night with our kiddos. The next day we still didn't want to go home, but we knew we needed to.

Tuesday we cleaned all our things up and packed our cars. The kids and I went to the Dodd's place across the way and 'talked' to the horses and goats and sheep. Isabella and I sang songs to the animals, "Baa Baa Black Sheep" and "Mary Had A Little Lamb" and "Old MacDonald". We had a great day. We took pictures of around the farm, the old truck, tractor, the kids playing and posing. It was a wonderful day. The kids have learned to love the farm almost as much as Michelle, Mom and I. I know we will make many, many more memories. I look forward to it.

My grandfather owned 88 acres. I have stomped most of those 88 acres in the past 20 + years. I pray my children and my children's' children can stomp all 88 acres in their lifetime. I pray that all the land stays in the family and that all the cousins for generations will gather there and make new memories. I pray that the children will have the same feeling about the farm/land that Michelle and I feel. This land is our legacy, our heritage and our family.